Addiction is all about isolation, separation, disconnection. It isolates people from their
families. It separates people from society in general. It disconnects people from their
feelings. It disconnects people from themselves. In addiction, people feel like they don’t belong.
12&12 Step Five, p.57
Even before our drinking got bad and people began to cut us off, nearly all of us suffered the feeling that we didn’t quite belong.
12&12 Step Five, p.57
Until we had talked with complete candor of our conflicts, and had listened to someone else do the same thing, we still didn’t belong.
The opposite of addiction is recovery. Recovery is all about connection. Recovery is about coming home, belonging.
People connect by hearing the stories of others.
People connect by sharing their own stories.
People connect over a shared experience.
People connect by feeling seen, heard, and valued.
12&12 Step Twelve, p.124
Service, gladly rendered, obligations squarely met, troubles well accepted or solved with God’s help, the knowledge that at home or in the world outside we are partners in a common effort, the well-understood fact that in God’s sight all human beings are important, the proof that love freely given surely brings a full return, the certainty that we are no longer isolated and alone in self-constructed prisons, the surety that we need no longer be square pegs in round holes but can fit and belong in God’s scheme of things—these are the permanent and legitimate satisfactions of right living for which no amount of pomp and circumstance, no heap of material possessions, could possibly be substitutes.
This is why the heart of the agency is so important. Do we scoot over so everyone feels welcome at our table, or do we spread out and take up space so others can’t sit down?
This isn’t just about how we make others feel welcome at our agency but also in the world as a whole. Are you making space for yourself and others to experience connection?
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